General Anxiety

104 pages later and its finally done. My senior thesis, the product of my sweat and blood for almost 8 months. That which stole my time, energy and money.

Yet instead of pride I feel more like Uranus, seeing his children born hundred-headed monsters and banishing them to the underworld. So many compromises go into something like that; when I look at it that's all I see, a million little failures, a thousand sentences that aren't quite right, a hundred ideas that aren't fully developed.

With it though goes my excuse. My excuse for not doing more with my life, my excuse for not facing my problems, for ignoring my other school work. My big excuse for burying myself in some project of questionable worth, only to not have to see the light of day. My big fat excuse.

Now Im filled with an unceasing sentiment of general anxiety. My heart races and my head hurts; concentration is difficult. I run around all day worried about getting things done and in the end accomplish nothing.

But still, its done. And that feels good.